


Privacy

by chasu



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Kissing, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:33:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5212919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasu/pseuds/chasu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Partner,” Souji said, softly, without looking away, and Yosuke blinked his eyes open. “You forgot to kiss me goodnight." </p><p>(an au where souji and yosuke get together well before the camp-out, and kanji gets a show.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Privacy

   Kanji didn’t know why he was surprised, to find Yosuke and Souji alone in the tent together.

   They were always alone together, so it really wasn’t a massive leap in logic to assume that they would be alone in the tent as well, even though there were only a few afforded to each class. But when Kanji slipped inside and found them sitting cross-legged and falling dead silent the moment they saw him, the lack of a crowd was completely unexpected.

 _They were always alone together._..

   Kanji figured it only made sense. Neither of them had run screaming at the sight of his shadow; they’d saved him even after seeing where it lived, after hearing some of the  _things_  it had said that felt like they had been clawed from Kanji’s very darkest core. Most people, he thought, would have left him as soon as they figured the whole thing out. But his senpai weren’t like most people. Souji had even  _said_  it when he comforted him after the fight,  _we’re all like that_ , and Kanji hadn’t taken it quite so literally until… well, until the first time they’d all eaten lunch together up on the roof, and Kanji had watched him reach over and kiss the corner of Yosuke’s mouth where he had a tiny smear of curry sauce, like it was nothing, and afterwards he’d shot Kanji a sly look as if to say,  _see_?

   Kanji had seen. He  _got it_  now, why Souji was always bringing Yosuke lunch, and hanging out with him all the time, and why nobody seemed surprised when, inside the TV, Yosuke knocked Souji out of the path of a fatal hit more than once, risking his own life in a way that Kanji, at the time, had considered to be a bit over-the-top. 

   He wasn’t really thinking about that, though, when he showed up to their tent. It wasn’t until after he was already inside and settled and Yosuke was rifling through his Animal Crackers that he realised maybe it was a dick move, to barge in when it was just the two of them.

   "You should stay the night,” Souji said, smiling his reassuring smile and leaning forward with his elbows on his knees when he caught Kanji glancing towards the zipped-up entrance. “We don’t mind.”

   "Hey,“ Yosuke said without looking up, too focused on shaking the now-empty box of cookies to dislodge the crumbs inside. "You got any more of these?”

   Kanji wasn’t above trading Animal Crackers for a better place to sleep.

   He made a show of grumbling about it, though, as he handed over two boxes.  
  


oOo  
  


   "I can’t sleep on this,“ Kanji said, more to the sleeping bag than to Yosuke. It was likely that the sleeping bag cared more, anyway - Yosuke, apparently, had eaten more than his fill of crackers and was now looking a little tired, but he was still eyeing Kanji every ten seconds, as usual.

   Yosuke made excuses, but he made them while sitting on  _his_  sleeping bag, which wasn’t situated on top of a  _rock_ , so Kanji found it hard to care about them.

   "There isn’t enough  _room_?” he repeated, and Yosuke shrugged. “Can’t you guys just  _share_?”

   It came out before Kanji’s brain really registered what he was saying, and he regretted it immediately. He hadn’t meant to conjure the image of Souji and Yosuke pressed together in such a small space, in just their underwear, because of the summer heat, their bare legs entangled–

   From the looks on their faces, Kanji assumed their minds had gone to the same place.

   " _What–_?“ Yosuke managed, but that was all. He sputtered, and then went silent again, leaning back on his palms and staring uncomprehendingly at Souji’s sleeping bag.

   "You want us to share, Kanji?” Souji sounded like he was teasing, but the look on his face was pretty much the same as it always was. Unreadable, calm, always displaying the very slightest hint of a smirk that Kanji could never be sure was there or not, and this time, it was setting him on edge.

   Denial was the only solution Kanji could think of. “Uh, that’s not what I…”

   But Souji was quickly distracted; he’d switched his attention to Yosuke and his sudden muteness and his face pink with what Kanji quickly realised was embarrassment. He sat there with his feet tucked under him, hands fisted on his knees, still looking at that sleeping bag as though if he focused hard enough, begged it intensely enough, it would eat him alive and swallow him whole and save him from this conversation.

   Or maybe Kanji was just projecting. He couldn’t tell.

   "What are you looking so flustered for?“ Souji nudged Yosuke’s knee. "We’ve done it before, haven’t we?”

   Yosuke’s voice came strangled when he tried to protest. “Yeah, but not in a sleeping bag…”

   "That’s–“

   Kanji felt it too late. By the time he raised his hands to his face, the gush of heat had spread to his chin, wet on his fingers.

   "Hey,” Yosuke said. “Is he bleeding?”

   It was everywhere. Kanji attempted to stem the flow with his fingers, pinching and tipping his head back even though it had always secretly terrified him that the blood could flow back into his head and cause an aneurysm or something. He was bleeding, and Yosuke was fussing over it getting all over the tent, which was not helping anything at all.

   Souji handed a pack of wet wipes over. Kanji couldn’t see much, but he realised that he must have pulled them from his bag, like some kind of parent who just carried wet wipes around to clean up after their dumb friends who got nosebleeds all the time. Kanji gratefully accepted them anyway, ripping the pack open and attempting to clean off his hands before moving on to his nose and chin. The blood always looked like more than it really was, but it still made him feel a little sick, especially when it dried and flaked.  

   "Looks like Kanji isn’t well,“ Souji announced, turning to look at Yosuke again, giving Kanji a modicum of privacy while he dropped one dirtied wipe in his lap and pulled out another one. "We’d better give him some space. Budge up, please, partner.”

   He put an emphasis on that word,  _partner,_  that Kanji had never heard before, and it took him a moment to realise that he’d never actually heard Souji say it before at all. Even though it had clearly been their thing from the start, it was always Yosuke who said it. It sounded different in Souji’s tone; airy but resounding. Intimate enough to end shivers down Kanji’s spine all over again.

   Kanji wondered if that was why he never said it in public. If he used that tone, then everyone would catch on, no doubt about it.

   Yosuke hesitated, probably catching and weighing that same intonation before obediently shifting towards the tent wall, and Souji gestured for Kanji to take his sleeping bag instead. It didn’t matter; they all came from storage, all had that same weird smell of must and damp grass. The only difference was that Souji’s sleeping bag was not situated on top of a rock, and that was all Kanji really cared about.

   "Thanks,“ Kanji said, and meant it. Souji moved to sit on the free side of Yosuke’s sleeping bag (it meant their thighs pressed together, but Kanji tried not to think about that too much), and the new arrangement meant that Kanji could put his bloodied wipes on the indent made by the rock before he settled on the space Souji had just vacated for him. 

   It was still warm, and a split-second later, Kanji felt a twinge of guilt for noticing that.

  
oOo

  
   Kanji tried not to stare when Souji and Yosuke wiggled into their sleeping bag together, but he was already in his own and settled and there wasn’t much else to look at.

   Souji went in first, all his long limbs settled into place before Yosuke squashed in alongside him. Kanji got a drawn-out and heart-stopping look at the inside before Yosuke zipped it up; one of Souji’s legs over Yosuke’s waist, their bodies impossibly close, so much so that it looked like they were pressed together from their shoulders to their toes and neither of them minded at all. Spooning, both of them facing Kanji’s direction. They fit together that way. Kanji was sure he would hear no complaints of jagged elbows or stray kicks throughout the night.

   He knew that he should turn around, to let them have their privacy, but somewhere during the whole process, he had stopped trying not to stare.

   ”‘Night,“ Yosuke said. He had clearly been drowsy for a while, because he didn’t seem remotely embarrassed that Kanji was there, watching them–

   Kanji’s breath hitched, and the realisation brought on twin waves of guilt and excitement. He was  _watching_  them; and it wasn’t that he was watching anything that would be thrilling for most people, his senpai cuddled together in a space built for one, but he was taken in by all of the tiny details. 

   Like the way Yosuke didn’t notice him because he was already snuggling down, hiding half of his face with his forearm, closing his eyes. The way he mumbled something else that Kanji didn’t quite catch, and Souji replied with a mumble of his own. The way Souji then settled down with his lips against Yosuke’s hair, his eyes visible over the top, intense but impassive, watching Kanji right back.

   Time seemed to stand still. Kanji wanted to flinch, to stammer an apology out before Souji could tell him to stop being such a creepy voyeur about everything, that just because they were all 'like that’ didn’t mean their lives were a show for Kanji to observe like some guilty display on the Midnight Channel, some tacky feel-good movie that he could try to commit to memory while he still had the chance–

   "Partner,” Souji said, softly, without looking away, and Yosuke blinked his eyes open. “You forgot to kiss me goodnight.”

   "Wha’?“ Yosuke managed, shifting as far onto his back as he could, looking back over his shoulder as Souji as though he’d misheard.

   Kanji didn’t blame him; he thought he’d misheard too, the blood racing in his ears and the sudden acceleration of his heartbeat more than loud enough to distort Souji’s words. The moment lingered on, Souji’s stare unrelenting.

   Distantly, Kanji realised that his hands were shaking. Souji was watching him as though he had a purpose; as though he was silently communicating something Kanji couldn’t even begin to understand. Like he knew exactly what he was doing.

   Without breaking eye contact, Souji moved somehow closer and whispered in Yosuke’s ear. Kanji had never been able to manage the art of whispering in a way that actually lowered the volume of his voice, but Souji had, he was an expert, and the way his lips moved was so distracting. The way he punctuated his sentences with tiny kisses to Yosuke’s earlobe, smiling intermittently against his skin, and the way whatever he was saying was making Yosuke more alert by the second.

   When he was satisfied, Souji pulled back and – _oh god_ , Kanji was gripping his sleeping bag with both hands so tight that his knuckles were white, that he could rip it to pieces of he wasn’t careful because Souji was drawing his tongue over the shell of Yosuke’s ear, so neatly that Kanji almost didn’t even see the little flash of pink, but even if he’d missed it he would have seen the way it made Yosuke shiver.

   He heard Souji mumble, "Yeah?”, and Yosuke acquiesced in an instant.

   He settled an arm around Souji’s neck, shielding them both from view, but Souji reacted in the moment Kanji felt his guilty hopes die and burrow back down into the pit of his stomach. He twisted, half-sitting up so that Yosuke was lying flat and Souji was on his side, and that arm didn’t hide anything anymore as Yosuke’s hand slipped down to hold onto Souji’s shoulder instead. Fingers gripping, peeking out from where his slightly oversized blue sweatshirt fell down past his wrist, onto the t-shirt Souji wore, bunching up the fabric. Expectantly, his lips parted.

   Souji was looking down on Yosuke, now, and Kanji– Kanji hated himself immediately for realising it, but it seemed like Yosuke  _liked_  that, the way his eyes were suddenly wide open and his expression slack, hopeful from what Kanji could see of it in the dim.

   Hopeful. He  _wanted_ – Had he somehow forgotten where they were?

   Kanji didn’t know. He didn’t want to. He stopped his breathing and tried to stay still, just in case a reminder of his presence would snap Yosuke out of this.

   Souji shot Kanji once last, flickering glance, and then he leaned down, and closed his eyes.

   Kanji’s mind fizzled to static when their lips met. Yosuke accepting the kiss so easily, arching up against Souji… Kanji didn’t know where to look. Souji’s hand on Yosuke’s chest, one finger drawling idle little circles over nothing; Yosuke’s hair spread across his pillow, catching the light in glints of copper that were there and gone again in an instant.

   He wondered how it felt, to be kissed that way. So softly it was as though he might break, in the dark, where no-one would ever know. His senpai were lucky. Kanji wanted to tell them all about the strange, aching mix of jealousy and desire and several other unidentifiable emotions developing into a mass inside his ribcage, the way the breath was being knocked right out of him, but he couldn’t say anything, they’d overridden his brain.  

   They were still going. Slowly, languidly, drawing it out; and they were letting him watch.

   What had once been chaste grew deeper, Yosuke pulling Souji down, a flash of tongue that made Kanji’s head spin and pound. He had only ever seen this – an approximation of this – during his most guilt-ridden nights, his lowest moments, in images on the internet and sometimes videos if his terrible connection allowed it. But even then, those grainy frames and webcam shots weren’t the same. They weren’t even close to this, because they weren’t just a few feet away from him, Kanji couldn’t hear their shaky moans and breathless, private laughter in between kisses that had become far more than just  _goodnight_.

   They weren’t lovers, they didn’t share all the little intimate touches that came with that, that his senpai were  _showing_  him came with that…

   And he would never see anything like this again.

   They parted with a small, slick sound that Kanji knew he wouldn’t be able to forget any time soon.

   Yosuke, too, looked speechless. Flushed across his cheekbones where Kanji could feel that he, himself, was pale. He looked like he had just stumbled off a rollercoaster, all shaky from the adrenaline high and not quite ready to speak or think or look at Kanji at all; he turned the other way, resting his cheek on Souji’s chest.

   "Did you enjoy that?“ Souji asked him – asked  _him_ , Kanji had for gotten how to breathe–

   There wasn’t a trace of an accusation in his tone. His words were soft, like that had been his intention all along. For Kanji to enjoy it.

   "Yes,” Kanji said.

   "Good.“ Souji threaded his fingers through auburn hair. "Goodnight,” he said, hushed – and Kanji had the distinct impression that he was saying it to both of them – before he settled down again, tucking Yosuke up against him.


End file.
